what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
