god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
