In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Me too!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
