We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
