Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
