hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
