she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Are these your boobs on my camera?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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