the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
