O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
