Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
