sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
