I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
