pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
