I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
