thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
