they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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