This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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