You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
NoShamevember. You game?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
