It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
