I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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