My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
