areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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