I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
