I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
