Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Fuck appropriateness.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
