Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
