How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
