Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
