covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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