i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
