if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I deserve this hangover.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
