i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dear god my vagina.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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