is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
