Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
