she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
