I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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