I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
