I like to think it a success when the cops are called
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
