Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
