Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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