Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
