I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Life is so much better after having sex.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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