that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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