they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
