Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
