fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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