whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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