i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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