Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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