Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
