it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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